When I googled the question: “Can a Christian be Homosexual?”, a link to a page by a fellow named Matthew Vines was among the top on the list. Mr. Vines is of the view that homosexuality should be allowed in the Church. A link to his page can be found here: The Gay Debate: The Bible and Homosexuality.

Mr. Vines makes several points. Here I am covering his second point (in bold). click on the other links to view my response to his other points):

• Despite growing up in a loving, stable family, devoid of abuse, living an abstinence-until-marriage lifestyle, and desiring to have a family of his own someday, he has concluded that he is gay.
• Traditional “anti-gay” views of the Church have forced homosexuals to be lonely, which is against God’s design.
• The Old Testament Law does not apply to Christians, which means that references to the law in regard to homosexuality being evil are no longer valid.
• The concept of sexual orientation is new, so the Bible cannot shed light upon this subject as ancient forms of homosexual acts were offensive or abusive, not examples of two people coming together in a committed relationship.
• “Gay people have a natural, permanent orientation toward those of the same sex; it’s not something that they choose, and it’s not something that they can change.”
• Certain compound words around the New Testament references to homosexuality are really meant for the economic sexual exploitation of homosexuals.
• The Church has been really harmful toward people of homosexual orientation and it needs to become more accepting of homosexuals and not so condemning.
• Being different is not a sin and being “gay” is not a sin either.

Loneliness is Not God’s Plan for Mankind (Including Homosexuals), But It Can Be a Result of Being in a Fallen World

The next point he makes is that traditional anti-gay views of the church have forced homosexuals to be lonely which is against God’s design. I actually agree with him on this, however, I do not think that the Church is to take sole blame. In my years spent as a single person there were times I’m sure people wondered if I myself was gay. In American culture, particularly in the movies and other media that promote and establish it, there is very little mention of single people. It is all couples-oriented. I believe that is because there is less drama in being okay with being single. Even in Hallmark movies, very seldom do people not find their “match,” despite overwhelming circumstances. What about the people who are okay with not finding their match or for one reason or another, simply don’t? In this couples-oriented culture, (which I admit also pervades the Church in America) those who do not match up with someone of the opposite sex seemingly “must be gay.” Even though the Bible gives us examples of people who had the “gift of singleness,” as the Apostle Paul spoke of in his letters, if such people existed in the Church today, I am almost certain they would be considered, by some if not most, homosexual. The problem is that there are people with that gift in the Church today and they should not be labeled in such a way as it pushes them toward sin and away from the God they have such a great opportunity to know and serve.

By my mid-twenties, I was perfectly okay with remaining single. If things had not worked out with my wife, I would probably still be single here in my thirties. This is an odd thing, which some might label as “queer,” “strange,” or even “secretly gay.” However, I truly was able to turn my concern of finding a wife over to God. I will be honest, I kept an eye out for women who might be a good match, but in the meantime, I did my best to use my singleness to serve God.

Sometimes God calls you to do things that are out of the ordinary or different from the norm. These are great personal challenges that develop our faith and when we trust in God, bring us closer to Him. The world promotes all religions, except true Christianity. Thus, merely choosing to be a true Christian can be a lonely road itself. Should we trade trusting in our Savior for less persecution so that we can be less lonely or have what we want? The martyrs of the past declare a valiant “NO!” to that. 

Also marriage doesn’t cure all loneliness. There are just about as many divorces of those claiming to be Christians as those not claiming to be. Marriage, while blissful for a time, requires work to keep going. While there may be similarities shared between a couple, there different ways people respond to the same stimulus. Sometimes a partner may need to be around people to be comforted when faced with stress. The other may need time away from people to think. If you have those two opposites in a marriage together, it can seem like one does not want to meet the other’s needs. It turns out they are just different people and if the needs are not communicated clearly, friction can happen in the relationship, creating an emotional wedge, which can cause a different kind of loneliness to develop. One which may be sought to cure by ending the marriage or seeking to fill that loneliness with other things such as alcohol, drugs, extramarital sex, or other such “medicinal” vices.

Back to Vines’ point that the traditional view of the Church has forced homosexuals to be lonely, which is against God’s original design in Genesis Chapter 1. I agree with this for the most part, however, I think Vines is trying to use this to say that this situation as justification for homosexual romantic relationships, because as God said in the beginning “It is not good to be alone.” Another thing to point out is that this circumstance mentioned in Genesis 1 is before the fall of man. Before Eve and Adam chose to sin, the world was made good. However, when the first couple went against God’s command, evil found its way into the world. We now live in a fallen world, where people don’t treat other people right. Something we need to realize is that the Church is full of fallen imperfect people who are (supposedly) turning to Jesus for the forgiveness of their sins and entrusting in his resurrection and Holy Spirit to give them the power to overcome those sins.

While I admit that neither I or the Church are perfect, it does not give us an excuse to remain as we are. We all need to be a little more understanding, but we also need to challenge people to become better. I think that is where the traditional view comes from initially even though it can now often appear as a list of additional rules to follow. The crux of Christianity is that we turn to Jesus for our fulfillment, because if we trust in people they will let us down. If you read any article that has been written by an unbeliever or an atheist, you will not get far without them referencing supposed crimes of people in the Church. If they would have been trusting in Christ rather than the Church, then they wouldn’t have been disappointed and perhaps had a little more mercy toward those people. The Church is made up of broken people who point to Christ, the real person to turn to for salvation and fulfillment.

So when Vines blames the Church for making him feel lonely, I do not doubt that statement. But, I know that when I am feeling lonely and down, I can either turn to my sins for comfort, which usually only leaves me feeling worse, or I can turn to Christ and give him the burden. There have been many times God has drawn me near in times of loneliness and held me in despair. Where was the Church? Doing churchy things, I guess. I have been fortunate at times to be part of churches where it really does feel like family. I have also been part of churches where it felt like I had to constantly watch my back. Regardless, Jesus is still Lord of all, and He is the one to turn to in times of trouble, not the Church, and definitely not romantic homosexual (or heterosexual) relationships.